I'm so grateful for my mom.
Today I shared with her that I've been struggling with anxiety and right away she wanted to help me. So she bought me curtains so that I can sleep at night and the lights outside won't bother me. Hopefully that will help. She also sent my dad out in the middle of a blizzard to give me tea so that I could breathe easy and relax while I was at work. She is so sweet and thoughtful.
I'm not sure why I've been feeling this way. It's probably because I've been pretty stressed and this is my body saying that I need to take a little break, find some peace. Driving in the snow is one of the anxious almost to the point of becoming sick moments, luckily tonight I prayed and the feeling of uneasiness was quickly lifted from me. God is so beautiful in that only a small prayer can change my thinking and my feelings so quickly. The moment I shared my worries with my mom, I know that she talked to God about it. She is so good with that, I could feel it instantly. Her love calling on His love for me.
I think, again, satan is trying to claw his way into me, alter my thinking. I'm not trying to sound paranoid, but this has been an incredibly interesting semester because I have seen this happening to me.
Hopefully with prayer and no medication I can move beyond this minor bump in the road.
I'm also aware that a lot of my anxiety stems from the things that I don't really have control over. Perhaps, this is God teaching me to let go a little, enjoy the ride more. I could be totally wrong, but it seems pretty right.
I think sometimes it's really hard to be vulnerable with the people around me. It is especially hard to be vulnerable with the random people who could be reading this. So, I promise, I'm not some sort of freak, just someone who is trying to find their way and trying to solely lean on God for that.
I'm going to bed early tonight and I'm going to get a great night's rest.
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