The Sixty Seventh

Hey there.
Ah, so beautiful and rainy today. Right now I'm cuddling with my little doggie, Violet. She's snoring, I guess she knows a good nap day when she sees one. I, however, cannot take a nap today. Lots of studying, reading, and meetings to get done before tomorrow.
So I don't think I've shared a lot of God stuff recently, so I'm going to do that.
I have to tell you, it is so hard for me to be content. I started to pride myself in the fact that I was really content earlier this year, as far as relationships went, and I was really excited about it. So I've once again found some sort of minute dissatisfaction in my life that I would love to change and make better. I think I forget that all things happen in God's time. It is not how I see my life going and the direction it is headed, it is how God wants it and His calling to me. More recently, I've been reading out of 2 Samuel and there is a lot of father/son things going on there and at lifegroup we talked about Genesis and there's a lot of father/son things going on there too. And then I went to church and we spoke about another part of father/son things there too. So I'm being overwhelmed by these parent/child relationships and it makes me deeply want that of my own. To have that as my own I cannot stay single forever. Uhg, I hate talking about this because I feel so lost and inexperienced. Anyway, this desire to have children must come with the desire to have a husband. That's where I'm at today.

It's not like I want to get married tomorrow, but I want to know that the idea of getting married one day doesn't seem so dim and unreal right now. I know God is totally working on my patience, my love for others who are different from me, and the strength of my faith right now. There's so much going on inside of me that it seems like I have so much work to do before I could ever think about being a great wife. I guess I should focus on that, learn the lessons from the fathers in Genesis and 2 Samuel, Joseph and David, and possibly use that when that time and point does come for me. I really need to find my being content in Him and not my wants and desires. I have so much more life to live and school and traveling that it almost seems like, just because of the chaos of it all, that it wouldn't be a good time for relationships of that magnitude. But then again I could be wrong about that as well.

So, I thought I'd catch ya'll up. See if you have any words of encouragement or anything. I know it seems like every other week there is another little drama in my life. I think it's hard not to have that when God is consistently knocking at the door, inviting Himself in, and growing His spirit in me.

Thursday my mom and dad are taking  Violet to go pick out a brother or sister. We'll see if she's okay with that. If she is we may have a little Daisy or Poppy running around the house. Puppies are so sweet, but quite a lot of work, so we'll see if it actually works out.

see ya'll.