The Eighty Eighth

Ah, so unmotivated for school.

Anyway, My little silver tooth fell out on Monday, and it's loose again right now. Yuck, I dislike dental work greatly. In 10 days, though, I will have my nice permanent-not-going-anywhere tooth.
I've been trying to study and be diligent with my school work for the past couple of days, but it's not really working and I keep forgetting small things I have to do.

Oh, and my jury duty got cancelled! I was so sad. But, I got to talk to the coordinator and I cleared up some dates so that she won't have to call me in when I'm not available. My name goes back in the lottery since I didn't attend, so that means at any time I could get called again.

Anyway, I'm reading through 2nd Chronicles and it's basically a repeat of Solomon's story in Kings, but I think it drives home a lot of the importance of trusting, worship, loving.
So I don't have anything else to say.

The Eighty Fourth

Today was lovely. I was thankful for another day with no thoughts of homework or school. I think I'll take one more day like that and then on Monday I'm going to find my motivation to get it all started again.
Today I got to be nostalgic with my oldest friend (not in age, but in the length in which I've known her) and we watched old videos and talked about old times. Then we made some delicious pretzels. After that I went to Los Cocos with my mom and dad and had a 2 dollar Margarita, yumm and cheap. i think I'll watch a movie or some more scrubs, go to bed early, and just enjoy this last little part of spring break.

bye for now.

The Eighty Second

Today has been interesting. I haven't slept in all morning, I haven't really rested this spring break and my little cold that I have has decided that it is happy staying where it's at. So I took a load of cough meds just a couple minutes ago so we'll see if it takes care of anything.

My tooth actually did not end up hurting, just unnatural. I'm scared to chew on that side of the mouth because the dentist told me that the temporary crown can fall out. No chewing gum for me in the next couple of weeks, which really sucks if I have a halitosis kind of day.

Ok, a couple of things. We have internet at the Bennett house, so I'll be watching scrubs in like 3 minutes.

1st, God is so interesting and mind-boggling. I've been doing so well in my reading the bible in a year thing and today I was blessed with something beautiful. While not having internet this morning, I opened up a Podcast by Mark Driscoll, who is probably my favorite pastor to listen to. I just finished 1 and 2 Kings, which is like a huge accomplishment for me because generally I can't stick with these things. Pastor Mark is doing a series in Luke and I'm really behind, but the sermon I listened to he talked about how Jesus is a prophet, and I said in my mind, "Oh, like Elijah and Elisha!" and sure enough, Mark pulled one story out of 1st Kings and another out of 2nd Kings and I was so excited! Out of all the sermons I could have picked I picked the one that Mark talks about all the great things I just read about and I got to digest and know them even further than I had before. It's so beautiful.

2nd, Ever since reading A Million Miles in A Thousand Years I keep thinking about the story I live. Over winter break I was thinking I really had no story, that there was meaning in life but I was not living a meaningful life. I've come to realize this week, that as other people are out doing wonderful things I'm usually in Manhattan doing stuff here and I was pretty unhappy with that. But, I'm not anymore. I've realized that I can serve so many people here and love so many people here, that here may be just where I'm supposed to be. Knowing that has made me happier, it has made me much more joyful in what I do, whether it be making an appointment at work with a better attitude or doing laundry for my mom because I know she is going to be super busy when she gets home from work, without moaning and groaning about it. It's easy to say, oh this is so wonderful, but it really sucks when you do all these kind things with such a great attitude and someone comes along and looks beyond those great things and immediately tells you what you did wrong.
I wish I could say that I thought nothing of it, that I figured it was the place that that person's heart was in, but I can't say that. I was so deeply offended. This little experience makes me see that I will never really find what I'm looking for in this earth and the heart's of the people on this earth, only in heaven is where I'll find that I'll be completely satisfied, where I won't have those downers come along and disrupt my joyfulness. Ok enough of that! I guess work in progress really does mean something. I'm praying that the next time something like that does happen I'll have a much better reaction to it.

Tomorrow, I'm getting out of town and I'm pretty excited about it. My cough medicine is helping, hip hip hooray!

The Eighty First

Ah,  Spring break is so great. I haven't opened a text book, looked at any class notes, or read anything relating to school for 5 whole days now. It's glorious.

Today I spent the morning in the dentist's office. Dr. Smith replaced a crown of mine with a temporary one until the permanent one comes in. It didn't hurt mostly because she shot me with lots of the numbing stuff. However, I image in about 3 hours it will hurt because they spent a lot of time grinding and sawing and cutting things in my mouth. Kind of gross, but still, modern medicine is pretty cool because if they had to do that 50 years ago, I think they would have just pulled the tooth out and called it good.

So moving is no fun, it's very tiring. It's nice that almost everything is being put in it's place and the new furniture is coming soon and I got to sleep in a real bed last night. We haven't had wireless internet so I have been spending much less time watching TV and being on the internet, it's so nice. The internet is a very handy tool and can be lots of fun. But having to pull away from it and do other things sometimes makes it much less appealing.

I finished up 2 Kings last night. I finally researched why in the bible all these kings 'tear their clothes' every time something terrible happens. I guess it's just a symbol that bad things/disaster/pestilence/death is happening. So strange. Lots of kings were tearing their clothes!

Oh, so I'm reading A million miles in a thousand years by Donald Miller. It's so good. It talks about how we all should live a beautiful story, but we will find no resolution here on earth. Our resolution is in heaven. It's a great book and it really got me thinking about how I live my life. I've read most of this book while waiting for the clients to leave at work and I realize that that is what my life has become; work. School is work and work is work. But Don also says that our journey is not supposed to be easy, there are supposed to be conflicts, because what good story doesn't have either of those? He keeps saying that his great story began when he turned off the TV. I realize now that he is saying that we all love to live vicariously through the characters that are on TV and the more time we live through them, the less time we spend living our own lives. So great, Don Miller is an awesome author.

I think I need to take some tylenol or a nap after that dentist's appointment.
Happy Spring!

The Seventy Seventh

Another happy moving day, much much more progress was made. It's amazing that the movers packed up the entire (well, mostly the entire) house in like a day and a half. It is now our like 3rd or 4th day unpacking, and there is still so much more to go.

We ended up not getting the puppy, Daisy. I'm fine with it. Puppies are hard work and it would be so inconvenient to have a brand new puppy while we were trying to unpack everything. Plus, one dog is enough. Violet already brings us lots of joy, so we should be satisfied with that (and I am).

Oh yeah, on April 5 I get to go to Jury duty! I'm so excited. Ever since I turned eighteen, I was so excited to vote that I never miss the opportunity and I was so excited that I was now able and qualified to serve on a jury. If I get selected to be on the jury then it is estimated to take 3 days, yes, three whole days of excused absences from school! However, I kind of like going to school because that way I don't miss out on anything. If I don't get selected, I will be kind of bummed because I'm kind of looking forward to it. I love that being american means that you get to serve your country and you get to let your voice be heard. Even if it is only one little case at the Riley County Courthouse, or a minute long phone call to your senator, it is all in the beauty of being american. However, being an american also means that people have the right to disagree with you.

I'm kind of trying to get rid of a cold or the allergies that I have acquired since I pretty much fainted while watching the first round of the NCAA tourney. I'll give you my symptoms. Runny nose, watery eyes, scratchy throat, sneezing and now coughing. I had a fever a little too. Is that a cold or is it allergies? I mean the seasons are changing, I just can't tell the difference.

Salutations!

The Seventy Eighth

Sorry I have become less frequent. K-State is playing in the NCAA tourney right now against the Wisconsin Badgers! It's the half and they are losing by a little, I have faith that they can succeed, but I just can't watch. It makes me nervous.
The past two days I've been moving heavy boxes up and downstairs, unpacking boxes of stuff, and realizing how much stuff can just accumulate if it's hidden in some drawer somewhere. It's nice for me that all my stuff can be piled in the back of a truck and in one trip my whole life can go somewhere else. For my parents, however, their many travels and collections accumulated to 13,000 pounds. That's astonishing to me. Now, we're unpacking all of that stuff and putting it in the right place.
Funny story. My dad was trying to hook up the washer and dryer, the dryer needs a new plug because it didn't match the outlet at the new house, ok that's an easy fix. He begins to hook up the washer, gets it running. In the meanwhile, I'm taking boxes full of movies downstairs to their new home and I hear something that did not sound good. I open up a door and sure enough, the water draining from the washer is draining straight into the basement. Oh the joys of a new home, I guess the builder forgot to hook that up to any plumbing at all, and the inspector didn't notice?? That's nuts!

wo-hoo, just checked the score, ksu is winning, lets hope they can keep it up!

I'm reading 2nd Kings right now. It's super interesting, how all these kings reign for thirty or fourty years and as soon as they start leading their nation away from how God sees it, the king is taken down and quick. It's also interesting the amount of reliance a prophet can have on how a king rules, if they are willing to listen.
This also makes me think of today's leaders and how today the United States launched missles in Libya. I haven't been keeping up with this whole middle east situation, but I can't understand why it has gotten to the point that once again the US decides to intervene. It's sad that the world must fight, but they even did it in the Old Testament, nations were always at war with each other and sometimes it was just to bring a king down that was leading his people into destruction.

Ok, I lied I am watching KSU play...
Catch ya later.

The Seventy Fifth

I'm about to watch Scrubs and I just realized I haven't written in so many days. My toes got to breathe today and it was beautiful! I've been thinking about Japan. The devastation that they have experienced in the last week is incredible. The lives lost, the exposure to massive amounts in radiation, earthquake/tsunami, so incredibly sad. K-state is sponsoring a prayer for Japan, which I think is beautiful. I wish that we'd always be praying for these countries that are far away and distant and that we wouldn't only be aware of them when horrible things happen to them. I know I don't have hours and hours of the day to sit and pray about every single country, but I do have time to inform myself of different things I could be praying for and develop a passionate heart for it.

I have a P. Chem exam in 1 hour and 15 minutes. However lame this is, I'm kind of excited because I pretty much know my stuff. We'll see if I can improve upon my last exam score.

Wish me luck!

The Seventy Second

I don't really have anything to write about. Today I ate a lot of chocolate and beef. Not together, all in separate dishes. I also studied more for my exams this week and dreamt a little more about spring break. I've also realized that after spring break hits, I don't really have a free weekend until the end of school. That's okay, I tend to be more happy when I'm busy.

I learned in my psych class that I could be qualified as a 'hardy' person. Characteristics of a hardy person are as follows. Making commitments are easy, to sense of self, direction and place in life. I have an internal locus of control and am very self disciplined. I love a good challenge, it is something I enjoy overcoming and don't view it as a stressor. Very true. The good thing about hardy people, besides their eternal optimism,  is that because they handle stress well, they don't get sick very often, unless they are away from their support system. Super accurate.  It sounds like I'm tooting my own horn, but I think it's cool that I've always been this way and now I know there is a name for people like me.

There's a little bit of a winter wonderland outside my apartment, I kind of thought we were done with winter. My toes are begging to be exposed. They are tired of being in boots and heavy socks, they just want to breath wearing Rainbows or sandals. I wish I could let them, without fear of losing them due to frost bite.

Bye : )

The Seventy Second

I don't really have anything to write about. Today I ate a lot of chocolate and beef. Not together, all in separate dishes. I also studied more for my exams this week and dreamt a little more about spring break. I've also realized that after spring break hits, I don't really have a free weekend until the end of school. That's okay, I tend to be more happy when I'm busy.

I learned in my psych class that I could be qualified as a 'hardy' person. Characteristics of a hardy person are as follows. Making commitments are easy, to sense of self, direction and place in life. I have an internal locus of control and am very self disciplined. I love a good challenge, it is something I enjoy overcoming and don't view it as a stressor. Very true. The good thing about hardy people, besides their eternal optimism,  is that because they handle stress well, they don't get sick very often, unless they are away from their support system. Super accurate.  It sounds like I'm tooting my own horn, but I think it's cool that I've always been this way and now I know there is a name for people like me.

There's a little bit of a winter wonderland outside my apartment, I kind of thought we were done with winter. My toes are begging to be exposed. They are tired of being in boots and heavy socks, they just want to breath wearing Rainbows or sandals. I wish I could let them, without fear of losing them due to frost bite.

Bye : )

The Seventy First

Oh, wow, like four days without writing.

It's crazy how quickly life can get so busy. This happens by adding to your commitments, being more devoted to said commitments, and moving.
Moving. So finally it has arrived, my parents are moving out of the house they have lived in for 10 years, that's like almost half their marriage, people. This is also the house I lived in while I went to middle school,  high school, and little bit of college. I'm sad to see it go, but so excited for their new home. Not only will they have a new home, but a new puppy. Violet is going to have a friend! Little Daisy will be joining our family next Friday, right after they are officially moved into their new house.

I have 3 exams, 2 quizzes, and 1 speech to give this coming week. I spent most of today studying, or thinking about studying. I have discovered that I cannot study at Panera, I end up people watching or wanting to waltz to their beautiful classical music.

I have also discovered that if you read the old testament in consecutive order it is much more easier to understand the lineages and the stories that are going on. It's amazing how, when I see the order that is given in the bible I am much more inclined to read it. I've never really sat down and read and tried to understand the old testament, but it really holds a lot of value. I mean there is a whole religion that ONLY studies that portion of the bible. I think they kind of missed the mark on the messiah, I mean what are they waiting around for, He came, He went, and we're waiting for Him to come back again! Ok, enough of that.

It was fake patty's day here in Manhattan today. I absolutely hate this day. It was a 'holiday' made up by Manhattan area bars so that they can make money from students before they go home for spring break, so they can all celebrate St. Patrick's Day. I guess, celebrating St. Patrick's day means just getting drunk, because that is all these Manhattanites do on this day. I don't like it. I don't. I don't know what it's like to actually celebrate St. Patrick's day, the Irish way that is.

ok. see ya'll

The Sixty Eighth

Oh my. Why is God so wonderful and beautiful? He just meets my needs and wants in just the most amazing ways. So yesterday I kind of had a debbie-downer post. It's hard to see the way things are going when things aren't necessarily going my way. So after all my discontent-ness was posted on the internet and how things weren't going the way I had wanted them to, God just made himself so alive and real for me. He's teaching me constantly and growing my constantly and I'm so thankful for that. I cannot imagine a life without and I think that is why I know God is real.
On to what actually happened. Last night, I was watching a Beth Moore sermon/speech that was given in her series "Believing God". The topic for last night was believing God can do what He says He will do. Seems so simple, right? Well, when I'm not truly believing and relying on Him it is not so simple. She began her talk about miracles, and moved to the differences between the old covenant and the new covenant. The old covenant is what the people in the old testament lived under and they were often blessed externally, whether it be with money or children or kingdoms on earth. The new covenant is what the people in the new testament lived under, once Jesus had came and died for us on earth. The new covenant is also what we are currently living under. Jesus has not come back, so we are still living under the new covenant. Under this God prioritizes internal work over external work.  This means that we no longer take animal sacrifices, Christians are living sacrifices. We are more likely to go into spiritual captivity instead of physical captivity. Anyway all of this started to click for me because I cannot remember a sermon I had ever heard about this, even though I knew that the Old and New Testament are so different.  So what I'm getting to is this: If God has said no to me in a loud and clear way then he is prioritizing internal works over the external works. It's so funny that Beth even spoke about that because yesterday I even listed just a couple things that God is working on in my life and making me see as being crucial to my faith.
This is why I believe, because all of this is not a coincidence, it didn't just all align together is some magical way. No, God placed these specific instances in my life for me to grow and to understand Him even more. I know I've been rationalizing with the verse in Isaiah that says His understanding is unsearchable. It totally is, but I enjoy seeing his workings in my life and I enjoy that I get to share this little details that make Him so awesome.

He's wondrous.

The Sixty Seventh

Hey there.
Ah, so beautiful and rainy today. Right now I'm cuddling with my little doggie, Violet. She's snoring, I guess she knows a good nap day when she sees one. I, however, cannot take a nap today. Lots of studying, reading, and meetings to get done before tomorrow.
So I don't think I've shared a lot of God stuff recently, so I'm going to do that.
I have to tell you, it is so hard for me to be content. I started to pride myself in the fact that I was really content earlier this year, as far as relationships went, and I was really excited about it. So I've once again found some sort of minute dissatisfaction in my life that I would love to change and make better. I think I forget that all things happen in God's time. It is not how I see my life going and the direction it is headed, it is how God wants it and His calling to me. More recently, I've been reading out of 2 Samuel and there is a lot of father/son things going on there and at lifegroup we talked about Genesis and there's a lot of father/son things going on there too. And then I went to church and we spoke about another part of father/son things there too. So I'm being overwhelmed by these parent/child relationships and it makes me deeply want that of my own. To have that as my own I cannot stay single forever. Uhg, I hate talking about this because I feel so lost and inexperienced. Anyway, this desire to have children must come with the desire to have a husband. That's where I'm at today.

It's not like I want to get married tomorrow, but I want to know that the idea of getting married one day doesn't seem so dim and unreal right now. I know God is totally working on my patience, my love for others who are different from me, and the strength of my faith right now. There's so much going on inside of me that it seems like I have so much work to do before I could ever think about being a great wife. I guess I should focus on that, learn the lessons from the fathers in Genesis and 2 Samuel, Joseph and David, and possibly use that when that time and point does come for me. I really need to find my being content in Him and not my wants and desires. I have so much more life to live and school and traveling that it almost seems like, just because of the chaos of it all, that it wouldn't be a good time for relationships of that magnitude. But then again I could be wrong about that as well.

So, I thought I'd catch ya'll up. See if you have any words of encouragement or anything. I know it seems like every other week there is another little drama in my life. I think it's hard not to have that when God is consistently knocking at the door, inviting Himself in, and growing His spirit in me.

Thursday my mom and dad are taking  Violet to go pick out a brother or sister. We'll see if she's okay with that. If she is we may have a little Daisy or Poppy running around the house. Puppies are so sweet, but quite a lot of work, so we'll see if it actually works out.

see ya'll.

The Sixty Fifth

Tonight my little devious side came out. I happen to get super competitive and then I happen to get a lead foot. It was kind of fun. It's really funny, because I do keep this side of me under wraps quite often. When people who don't see this side of me, don't know that it even existed. So I get to surprise people with this side of me, and I think it's hilarious. I did that tonight at a stoplight and I could not stop laughing because of the faces of the people that were surprised.

Now I just spent 30 minutes laughing with my roommate about mustaches and funny quotes. I love it when we're all slap-happy. I know that that wasn't a very interesting blog, so I will continue with the 30 day thing. Someone I would trade places with for a day:

I think it would be very cool to be the president for a day, but only a day. Know all the national secrets and problems for one single day. Chat with the pope, and many other leaders around the world, make an appearance at the congressional meeting for the day. Perhaps, I could solve the national debt problem...but probably not in one day.

until next time :)

The Sixty Third

I apologize for not writing. I'm neglecting this which wasn't my beginning goal. So I don't really have anything to talk about, other than being so very blessed with great funny friends and silly roommates.

A picture of my favorite memory.

Going to Maine. I've missed it so much, especially this week. I got to talk with some of my Mainer's and it just made me realize and see the transformation that happened in my heart there. Here is whereI learned to forgive and not hold grudges and this has affected my life every single day. Yes, I wish I could have learned much earlier in life, but since then things have been much more easy going.

The Sixtieth

Sixty Days down! Oh my lanta. Today I'm going to share a snippet of something I love. I'm not going to really write about it, because the words truly resonate in my heart so much that I can't really express myself in any better way than what it says.

Psalms 145

"I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever
Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.
One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds, and I will declare your greatness.
They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness and shall sing aloud your righteousness.
The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.
All the works shall give thanks to you, O LORD, and all your saints shall bless you!
They shall speak of the glory  of your kingdom and tell of your power, to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds, and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures throughout all generations.
The LORD is faithful in all his works.
The LORD upholds all who are falling and raises all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food due in season.
You open your hand; You satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear him he also hears their cry and saves them.
The LORD preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.
My mouth will speak praise of the LORD, and let all the flesh bless his holy name forever and ever."

So beautiful. Not copy and pasted too, I must say. He is so beautiful that I cannot even comprehend the beauty of Him.