2012

Well.
Here we are.

One year later and I didn't write as much as wanted, but it was a whole heck of a lot more than I thought I was going to. I think last year was filled with disappointment, wonder, growing up, laughter and joy.

Last night, at New Year's Eve. celebration I was just completely disgusted with my culture. I don't even want to claim the American culture as mine. We drink too much, we eat too much, we spend too much, we are immoral and don't even realize it because we've been blinded by our culture into thinking things are "normal". This morning I woke up from a very rough sleep and it was the first time I'd ever woke up thinking "satan is winning." I hated that thought, I hated how I felt all morning. I prayed and talked with God as I was getting ready for the day and I just really wanted to hear Hosanna by Hillsong on my ipod. I always have my ipod on shuffle as I'm getting ready and I was listening to Pitbull, I was thinking that his songs represent everything I hate right now. Amazingly out the 1700 songs on my ipod, the next song to play on shuffle was Hosanna. It broke me. In that moment I knew that God heard me and was sending his reply, if you will. God works my ipod?!?

Yesterday I finished reading Revelations. About Jesus coming to reign forever. The first line of Hosanna is "I see a King of Glory, coming on the clouds with fire". That's what I wanted. I wanted Him to come save me, right then and there. I didn't want to have to endure this earth any longer. I just wanted to be with Him and away from sin. The next song to play on my ipod was from my high school days: Stellar Kart, a song called Activate. I would usually skip this song but this time I didn't. It said "Life is easy when you're sitting in the shade, not to hot, not to cold... I feel you drawing me away from my complacency... Don't stop 'til everybody knows. This is the purpose of my life, this is the reason I'm alive."

So I have this to say. I think 2012 is going to be a hard year for me. I think God is challenging me to go beyond my comfort zone and share. I'm so super nervous. But, I mean... His son died for me. I owe Him this much, right? I never ever want to wake up again one day and think that Satan is winning, because in reality he will never win. Today in my read the bible in year I started Genesis. I saw where the sin all started. I saw how satan deceives and how people can turn against God because of it. But I know that that is just the beginning of a beautiful story.

New topic: I started the Insanity workout a week ago. That's challenging in itself, but I already feel loads stronger, hopefully I can continue and I won't give up.

I officially turned in my two weeks notice at Pawnee. It's so bittersweet. I cannot express the experience I've gained. Community Mental Health will always have a place in my heart even after leaving there. I don't know, job wise, where I'll be in 2-3 months, but I know where ever I'll be, I'll be there serving a greater purpose than myself.

-Until next time I have a tragic/awe-inspiring moment in my life