I guess I get to Friday and I have all these things on my heart that I just ahve to write about, every week.
So. Wednesday I have a job interview. I'm very excited, nervous, all the things you are when you have an interview for a job that you really want/desperately need.
I'm finding more and more that I should in no way be scared of the future, because my future is so secure because I have the heavenly Father looking after me, guiding me to what I'm supposed to be doing. He is amazing.
I met with my advisor, and he kept telling me that I could graduate in May, no problemo. But, I really don't want to. I really want to be a K-State student for one more semester. I really feel like I shouldn't take an entire year of school off. I really feel like I should retake classes that didn't do spectacular in. Most importantly, I feel like God wants me to take my time. I think I rushed through everything since high school until now. I took all the hard classes, I did all the right things, I worked incredibly hard, and next year/next semester is my time to slow down. Time to reflect, love on my family more, get some patient contact hours and continue on. Life is incredible. God is incredible. He knows exactly what I need. I'm so thankful for the Holy Spirit.
So, now I'm going to frantically study for the next 70 hours. A's baby. That's the way to get A's (and to have no social life, but I want A's baby).
See ya'll. Love ya'll.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Weird
Life is so strange. God is so strange.
Yesterday almost immediately after I wrote my last blog about needing a job, a job that gets me some patient contact, I looked up CNA classes. I found one for over winter break and paid an insane amount of money to enroll in it. So I'm all enrolled for a CNA class now. I get to work and our HR sends out an e-mail saying that the exact job in Pawnee that I have been waiting for has opened. Why did these happen on the same day, God? Are you trying to tell me something?
So this morning I applied for that job, spiffed up my resume and sent in an employee transfer request. I'm very nervous, very insecure about it. I had already talked to my boss about not being a receptionist forever, so she knew that this was coming.
I'm nervous for a couple reasons.
1) what if I don't get it, will the people that I work with find out?
2) What if I do get it and they want me to start soon, and I'm in Human body, and that's a lot of work in itself.
3) Can I really work with mental health clients one-on-one, am I cut out for that?
So we'll see what happens. I know for sure that God knows my best interests and skills and He is going to use me where ever He see fit. And that might just being working with people who have moderate to severe mental disorders, to me that's scary, but He would never ever put me anywhere where I couldn't do something. So I'm a little on edge right now. I'm going to hit the books to try and get it off my mind. I don't know why I'm so uncomfortable with this, but I am.
Yesterday almost immediately after I wrote my last blog about needing a job, a job that gets me some patient contact, I looked up CNA classes. I found one for over winter break and paid an insane amount of money to enroll in it. So I'm all enrolled for a CNA class now. I get to work and our HR sends out an e-mail saying that the exact job in Pawnee that I have been waiting for has opened. Why did these happen on the same day, God? Are you trying to tell me something?
So this morning I applied for that job, spiffed up my resume and sent in an employee transfer request. I'm very nervous, very insecure about it. I had already talked to my boss about not being a receptionist forever, so she knew that this was coming.
I'm nervous for a couple reasons.
1) what if I don't get it, will the people that I work with find out?
2) What if I do get it and they want me to start soon, and I'm in Human body, and that's a lot of work in itself.
3) Can I really work with mental health clients one-on-one, am I cut out for that?
So we'll see what happens. I know for sure that God knows my best interests and skills and He is going to use me where ever He see fit. And that might just being working with people who have moderate to severe mental disorders, to me that's scary, but He would never ever put me anywhere where I couldn't do something. So I'm a little on edge right now. I'm going to hit the books to try and get it off my mind. I don't know why I'm so uncomfortable with this, but I am.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Library pt. 3
I guess this is the way I get myself out of study...by writing blog posts that I have been meaning to write for the longest time.
So I have 3 great library stories and another thought.
1. Today I waved at someone walking towards me, thinking that it was a friend of mine. As they got closer I was thinking "crap...I totally don't know this guy." So then I apologized for waving at someone I didn't know and then I felt stupid.
2. Today I was trying to study on the main floor of the library, which is pretty loud usually.. but I kind of love the library hum-drum that goes on on that floor. But, the people across from me were watching a TV show or a you tube video or something without headphones on. So I gave them the look of "hey, you're in the library, why aren't you wearing headphones, you fools." kind of look. And almost immediately they put their headphones on. I felt so powerful!!!
3. I found a computer to write this blog post, which is kind of a task because like 75% of the computers in the K-State library are under maintenance, which I think is code for this is broken and we don't plan on fixing it, so we'll just spend your money to buy new ones. So I found one and the monitor is turned so that you see what the person next to you is doing. The guy I say down next to got up like 2 minutes later and sat down at another computer behind me. Apparently he did not want me to see what he was doing.... or his computer wasn't working and it truly does need some maintenance
My other thought. I'm trying to figure out in my mind what the difference of being like a Pharisee or Scribe in the bible and being a true Christian is. Like sometimes I see myself as over-righteous. and sometimes I see myself as super broken and sometimes I see myself as just plain ole righteous, and to think of myself that way at all, is that like a Pharisee or Scribe? I just don't get it. I think I'm supposed to feel confident in my faith, but not over confident. I know I don't know everything and I always marvel at the complexity, yet simplicity, of His design. I also know that there are several things in my life, attitude, what-have-you, that I totally need help with. Which, is where Jesus comes in. I know Jesus redeems me from my brokenness, and protects me from the hurt of this world. I don't want to be like the over-righteous, super rules followers, no relationship scribes and pharisees.
Sweet, I just learned how to use spell check on this thing.
So, I guess if you're reading this... or if anyone is reading this just pray for me to find a good balance. and also... to find a new job.
Thanks friends,
So I have 3 great library stories and another thought.
1. Today I waved at someone walking towards me, thinking that it was a friend of mine. As they got closer I was thinking "crap...I totally don't know this guy." So then I apologized for waving at someone I didn't know and then I felt stupid.
2. Today I was trying to study on the main floor of the library, which is pretty loud usually.. but I kind of love the library hum-drum that goes on on that floor. But, the people across from me were watching a TV show or a you tube video or something without headphones on. So I gave them the look of "hey, you're in the library, why aren't you wearing headphones, you fools." kind of look. And almost immediately they put their headphones on. I felt so powerful!!!
3. I found a computer to write this blog post, which is kind of a task because like 75% of the computers in the K-State library are under maintenance, which I think is code for this is broken and we don't plan on fixing it, so we'll just spend your money to buy new ones. So I found one and the monitor is turned so that you see what the person next to you is doing. The guy I say down next to got up like 2 minutes later and sat down at another computer behind me. Apparently he did not want me to see what he was doing.... or his computer wasn't working and it truly does need some maintenance
My other thought. I'm trying to figure out in my mind what the difference of being like a Pharisee or Scribe in the bible and being a true Christian is. Like sometimes I see myself as over-righteous. and sometimes I see myself as super broken and sometimes I see myself as just plain ole righteous, and to think of myself that way at all, is that like a Pharisee or Scribe? I just don't get it. I think I'm supposed to feel confident in my faith, but not over confident. I know I don't know everything and I always marvel at the complexity, yet simplicity, of His design. I also know that there are several things in my life, attitude, what-have-you, that I totally need help with. Which, is where Jesus comes in. I know Jesus redeems me from my brokenness, and protects me from the hurt of this world. I don't want to be like the over-righteous, super rules followers, no relationship scribes and pharisees.
Sweet, I just learned how to use spell check on this thing.
So, I guess if you're reading this... or if anyone is reading this just pray for me to find a good balance. and also... to find a new job.
Thanks friends,
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